Dear Journal, dear journal readers, dear whoever may be out there in space, reading, not reading, caring, not caring. I'm here on the edge of the cliff again. It seems to be impossible to keep a sane mind in a healthy body. Well, the major part of that right now is that I come from a prize-winningly dysfunctional family, and lots of them were just here for the week. They're all gone at the moment, but a niece and nephew will be back tomorrow for I'm not sure how long. I love them enormously, but their lives are so full of problems. I have been taking care of my family since I was four years old. I'm really tired. And I had a mini-crackup yesterday, another one of those "crying and I can't stop" episodes. I thought I was doing so well. Evidently not.
But in addition to ontological exhaustion, I'm just really physically exhausted. After everyone left I took a long nap, and my darling G brought us take-out supper, and now I'm trying to get the stuff I'm supposed to be doing for the Kerry group straightened out. A lot of cooks started stirring the broth I'm cooking while I was on leave this week, and things are in a state of grave confusion. Also I'm starting on a big project of getting Hispanic citizens here in this community registered to vote. It's going to take a lot of time and work, but I think will bring more Democratic voters to the polls.
I hope everyone in J-land is doing swimmingly, at some point I'll come visit and see what everyone is up to. I am actually considering ending this journal, if it gets to be one more thing I feel I HAVE to do I will say goodbye. It has been a great source of friendship and goodness to me, but right now I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything. Faculty meetings are coming up, and school is starting in two weeks. I need to make that my priority, of course. I'll play it as it lays, this is just a current thought.
8 comments:
I think a whole lot of people have those crying days, and usually they're warranted. As busy as you are, be sure and give yourself time to take care of you.
You do what you have to do -- you come first. Everything and everyone else is secondary. When it comes to maintaining sanity vs. a journal, sanity must win out everytime. We'll be here, waiting patiently for your return, if and when you have the time.
As always, you'll be missed! But you do what you have to to feel better! I think all your activity will help. I hope you won't delete your journal though, just give it a nice long rest and know we'll be here if you need us!
Take a break, don`t leave...you`ve been over-extended! [hugs]
V
Sweetheart...your journal is NOT something you have to do. I was feeling exactly the same way...not about quiting, but about feeling impossibly behind. Just take as long a break as you need and then come back and check in with us. Many of us love you dearly.
Hey there -- consider yourself burned out and tired and in need of some emotional chicken soup. If the journal isn't part of the chicken soup recipe then leave it behind. I'll miss you lots, I read your wonderful words all the time. Come back when you're feeling beter. Many hugs, a good book and of course, some chocolate...be good to yourself right now.
Gurl family is a pain in the ass. you love them because you have no choice, but whoa! are they high maintenance or what? I'll be passing through your town in a couple of weeks, and I have just what you need...a big tequila and a chocolate donut.
Peace and love
Tank Gurl
hi im a new boy just starting i dont knowa lot but hav started love lost would appreciate help
geordie
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