IMPROVEMENT TO REPORT

Once again I offer my gratitude for the kind comments left by friends on the previous entries.  They help more than you can know. 

I've been back home for about a month now, resting and healing.  This Tuesday was the first day I realized some real improvement in my vision.  And it occurs to me that I didn't previously mention that aspect of my disintegration...so, long story short:  Beginning in August when I returned from the first trip to RI, I experienced some loss of visual acuity.  I have terrible eyesight anyway, have been seriously nearsighted since I was seven years old, and have added difficulty with close vision as well as far, as I have grown older.  But this was something new.  A visit to the opthamologist brought the weird diagnosis of cornea damage due to copious crying of "toxic tears' in the weeks following my sister's death.  Apparently my tears of strong emotion are like bathing my eyes in acid, and I am an Olympic-level cryer at the best of times.  A second trip to the doctor earlier this month showed no improvement, not surprising, as I hadn't stopped crying at all.  After that visit, I realized I would have to find some other way of dealing with grief, crying myself blind was not an option I wanted to continue.  Thus, a month of meditation, Reiki healing, walks with my dog, cuddling on the couch with my cat, sleeping a lot, with a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday thrown in as a bonus.  Jamie and his family (Jamie is my partner's younger son) came from Denver, and grandchildren are the best therapy, I must say.  We also had friends andneighbors around the table, and the table was loaded with an amazing meal that I had spent the week before planning , shopping for, and cooking.  Cooking is also pretty good therapy.  Thanksgiving was the right holiday, as my Reiki practitioner advised me to do gratitude work, as part of my healing .

Right now we are in the throes of a winter storm that blew down from the Torthwest, yesterday bringing snow, wind and rapidly plunging temps.  The negative ions that acccompany a storm like this have raised my spirits enormously...it's the same feeling one gets walking by crashing waves at the shore - something I miss hugely, by the way.  But watching it snow on the mountains, the birds at my feeders, while I spent the day making turkey-tortilla soup with the carcass of the Thanksgiving bird, felt like such a great gift.  It was ELEVEN for a temperature just now when I walked the dog, but the precip is over, and the air smells clean and fresh, the New Mexico sun is back, shining on the snow, and both Honey (goofy old ocker spaniel) and I had a spring in our step.

So,  I have better days and worse days with my vision, but I am trying to look ahead, in every way, and to spend as much time looking at beauty as I can.  I think this may be what "I lift up my eyes to the mountains" may actually mean, and I am trying to do it whenever possible.  Next opthamology appointment is Dec. 13, two weeks to continue the healing.