Monday morning. Snow and ice. Cold. The first time I've been able to get out and refill the feeders. The big pole feeder was still about half-full. But the others were stark raving empty. Almost a week since I've been online. Computer SNAFUs, hard to get online, impossible to stay online once there. I don't know if it's this ancient computer, the weather, the fates, or what. Furthermore, I had such an overdose of Reality-based news, that it caused an emtional meltdown such that I really couldn't write anything coherent. During this time my dear friend Tank Gurl wrote an entry called "What Pisses Me Off the Most?" She somehow manages to get words onto the screen even when she's mad at everything. Just go read her entry, it's all there. And then, on the weekend, the ice and snow knocked out the phone line, and yes I still have dial-up, so I couldn't even try to get online. Thank technology for cell phones, how else could we check to see if the Thai restaurant was open? (It was, and we had a great meal. Perked up the whole crappy weekend.)
So, I couldn't know until this morning that I am the deeply-honored, pleased, humbled and grateful winner of JudithHeartSong's Artsy Essay contest for the month of January. It was lovely to read all those congratulatory comments, fine way to start a week. I'm actually glad I didn't know until today! I think most readers of my journals know and frequent Judi's journal - if, by any chance, you don't know her yet, it's time to get aquainted. She's recounting the adventures, with photos, of her recent London trip.
People like Judith are the reason I can't leave AOL, no matter how often I feel I'd like nothing better. This journal thing has turned into a real community, and for me right now it's the most real community I have. I have students whom I care a great deal about, I have professional associates with whom I can have conversations about our work, our plans, our goals - but here in this place where I have lived almost seven years I really don't have a community of friends. During the political campaigns, a community of like-minded folks joined and worked and ranted together, but there is only one of those folks who has remained as an actual friend. Perhaps that's a pretty good outcome, better than none. But my life has never been like this, any other place, any other time. At the beach there is a thriving gay/lesbian community, especially in the summertime, although I don't wish to give the impression I only choose to be friends with gay or lesbian people, how stupid would that be? Really, what I mean is that the beach is like a whole different place. The political group I hung with all summer was overwhelmingly straight, but we had so many shared ideals, goals, hopes, and struggles in common. We live in a small town well in from the beach, in an agricultural, conservative, religious, red-state atmosphere, where many of the inhabitants are elderly (well, I guess so am I now, but somehow I don't feel that way). My neighbors have signs in their yards that say "JESUS The Lord Saves. To order this sign call: and a phone number" It's hard to identify with that. It's hard for me to understand reducing someone you see as the Son of God Almighty, a miracle made flesh, to a yard sign. It really is. Or, for that matter, a bumper sticker.
Wow. Look at that. What a stream of semiconsciousness spewed out there. Okay. I'm going to go eat lunch. I must need essential nutrients.
10 comments:
I am most honored and glad you are here my friend. judi
Congratulations on winning Judi's contest. I read your entry via her journal and I concur with the judges decision.
Woo Hoo ... to the Artsy Essay Winner!
*** Coy ***
http://journals.aol.com/coy1234787/Dancingintherain
Congratulations on winning the contest, my friend. You deserve it!
Yes, AOL-J has grown into more than just an online hangout. I'm so glad about the camaraderie and sense of community we have here. Know that I consider you a true friend and comrade-in-arms. Thank you for being you and sharing yourself with us through your journal.
Congratulations. Your beautiful poem deserved an Emmy at least! I share some of your frustrations in getting "roots" into a new community. While I have my spouse and the two dogs there are definitely times when a close "best friend" would be nice. Once upon a time a moderate church would have fit the bill, but the move "right" in the religious community has left me solidly outside. In our country abode we feel fortunate to get "dial up", so I don't gripe about the slowness, getting bumped off or anything else. I do enjoy visiting your journal. Paulette
¡Congratulations, amiga! Well done.
stream of semiconsciousness --hey, that's patented. Congrats again.
Sometimes Imaginary Friends are the best ones. Thanks for the link, thanks for the inspiration, thanks for the virtual friendship.
Peace and Love
TAnk Gurl
I remember reading about how the French revere their flag. They display the flag in a few official settings, but do not turn it into t-shirts, bumper stickers, bathing suits, underwear, or any of the many mundane and patently irreverent applications favored by Americans with the image of Old Glory. In the weeks after 9/11, I noted a motorcycle rider who had decorated himself and his bike so that the flag was under his butt and around his sweaty head. All this was meant as a show of patriotism -- by people who would punch you out if you "disrespected" their flag.
These same folks have adopted similarly cheesy bumper stickers and t-shirts to proclaim their belief in Jesus and God.
The irreverence astounds me, as a non-believer who nonetheless respects the notion of the divine and transcendant aspects of human spirituality.
What it reflects is a spiritual immaturity, and a vacuous materialism, that are common in our culture. No wonder our vast majority of believers are capable of shedding the message of compassion and forgiveness that Jesus preached; they have yoked His name to their wagons, but he does not reside in their hearts.
Neil
I had to react to the yard-sign comment -- it really grabbed my attention. The rest of your post was about our need for community, and some thoughts about AOL J-land in that context. I've enjoyed that aspect of journalling too -- although my journal is rarely as calm and sociable as yours and others I like to visit.
It seems a strange community to me, but I do communicate more often with folks here than I do with some friends I have known for years. We who read one another's thoughts, and share our own, are indeed part of a community, and sometimes we can be a source of comfort or inspiration to one another, and that's a very good thing indeed.
Neil
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